Xmas are approaching! Isn’t that time to celebrate? Not for just anyone. If you are single fearing being alone during the holidays, your might want the festivities to help you pass as quickly as possible. “No time of the year might be consequently dark, uncomfortable and annoying”, you tell yourself”; “If only I had someone to get with, things would have recently been different”, you whisper to make sure you yourself time and again.
Use the excursions to figure out how not to become alone next year. It may seem that such advice is usually ridiculous. Why to think about following year when this year’s holidays are approaching? The reason is simple: if you have been one for a long time, what guarantee have you seen that you will not be one next year as well?
The secret to help you doing so is developing Self-Awareness: getting to understand why you were not able to develop a successful closeness so far; what made you will fail in your relationships up to now. Is it really so that you just didn’t come across partners who were good enough for you? Is it actually so that there were “external conditions” which made it impossible that you develop and maintain a successful closeness?
Could it really be for which you did all you could to look through partner with whom to create a good relationship but decided not to have luck? Well, all these can serve you as good reasons and rationalizations to not being successful. But is it really the case? Or could there be other reasons for your failed attempts? Could it be that some thing in you hinders and prevents you from having a successful relationship?
Why is you think that between now and then a miracle will happen and out-of-the-blue you will have a wonderful rapport? If you have been failing for having a wonderful relationship until now, what are the odds that you will succeed in having one next 12 months?
Using the holidays’ time to figure out what are the true factors that cause your inability to have a serious, meaningful, satisfying intimacy, is a time well-spent. The insights you’ll gain will help you find a suitable partner with whom to develop and maintain a booming intimacy.
Using the holiday seasons to think these over may also help you understand the true reasons for your failures. You might find, for example, that there are patterns of behaviors which inturn repeat themselves throughout all your past-relationships which always induced conflicts between you and your partners.
The odds probably do not operate in your favour! Therefore, it can be up to you to do something about your situation. Therefore, you may want to use a holidays this year to figure out how to make a change for next year! How can you use this year’s excursions to become able to have a romance next year?
Or you might find out that you haven’t been successful selecting a partner until now not simply because no “suitable” partner originated your way, but because you were over-afraid about developing a long-term serious relationship (for an individual reason or another); and that you are so needy and dependent on whomever you went with that they terminated the relationship; or that you were thus controlling and demanding a growing number of of your dates just rejected your attempts to getting finer and maybe even to transferring together.